Written by: Virginia Kuhn, LPC
Pregnancy often brings questions and comments from family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers. Many are meant kindly. But comments about how someone should feel, what they should eat, or how they should give birth can feel minimizing, intrusive, or complicated.
There isn’t one way to feel about pregnancy. A person may feel excited and also anxious, uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or unsure. They may have a history they haven’t shared, or simply prefer to keep certain parts of pregnancy private. Here are some comments that can land differently than intended.
“Aren’t you so excited?”
This question can make excitement sound like the expected response. Pregnancy can bring many feelings at once, and not everyone feels ready to share what they’re experiencing.
“At least you’re only nauseous and not vomiting.”
Comparing symptoms can make someone feel as though their discomfort doesn’t count unless it meets someone else’s idea of “bad enough.” Nausea can still be difficult, even if a person isn’t vomiting.
“You’re lucky you got pregnant.”
A pregnancy may follow infertility, loss, medical treatment, or a long and complicated journey. Being glad to be pregnant doesn’t necessarily mean feeling grateful for every part of the experience.
“You should be thankful you were able to get pregnant.”
This can make it harder for someone to talk openly about pain, fear, or disappointment. Gratitude and struggle can exist at the same time.
Assuming pregnancy happened easily
Comments that assume conception was simple can overlook fertility challenges, pregnancy loss, or private medical experiences. A person may not want to explain their history or discuss how they became pregnant.
“Are you going to have a natural birth?”
Questions about birth plans can feel personal, especially when they suggest that one kind of birth is more natural, ideal, or successful than another. Birth plans can change, and the details may be private.
Unsolicited advice
Pregnant people may hear a steady stream of recommendations about what to eat, what to buy, how to prepare, and what to expect. Even well-meant advice can feel overwhelming when it wasn’t requested.
Opinions about food & how you’ll feed your baby (breastfeeding vs formula)
Comments about what someone is eating—or what they should or shouldn’t eat—can feel intrusive or judgmental. Food choices may involve personal preferences, health needs, access, cultural practices, or guidance from a healthcare provider.
“You need more sleep” or “You’re sleeping too much”
Pregnancy can affect rest in different ways. Comments about how much someone sleeps may add pressure, especially when they’re already tired or uncomfortable.
“Just wait until the baby comes…”
Comments predicting how difficult the future will be can feel discouraging or increase worry. They may also make it harder for someone to talk about what they’re experiencing right now.
Pregnancy is personal, and people’s experiences can differ widely—even when they appear similar from the outside. A comment intended as encouragement may still feel minimizing or intrusive to the person hearing it.
At Bloom & Breathe Therapy, we offer support for people navigating pregnancy, perinatal mental health, and the transition to parenthood. Learn more about our services at Bloom & Breathe Therapy.