Written by: Virginia Kuhn, LPC
People often say it takes a village to raise a child. Yet after birth, many parents find themselves trying to manage recovery, feeding, sleep, household responsibilities, and big emotional changes with less support than they expected.
If asking for help feels difficult, you’re not alone. Needing support does not mean you’re failing or that you should be able to handle everything by yourself. It means you’re going through a major transition—and you deserve care, too.
Why is asking for help so hard?
The postpartum period can bring physical recovery, interrupted sleep, feeding challenges, and a new sense of responsibility. At the same time, parents may feel pressure to appear grateful, bond immediately, or manage everything naturally. It can be hard to explain what you need when you’re exhausted or still figuring it out yourself.
Some parents worry they’ll burden others, be judged, or seem like they aren’t coping. Others may not have family nearby or may not know what resources are available. If you’re experiencing postpartum depression, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, or feeling unlike yourself, those symptoms can make reaching out feel even harder.
You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable to ask for support. You can start with one small, specific request: “Could you bring dinner on Tuesday?” or “Can you sit with the baby while I shower or rest?”
Make support more concrete
People who care about you may want to help but not know what would be useful. Naming a task can make it easier for them to show up. You might ask someone to:
Bring a meal or pick up groceries.
Wash bottles, fold laundry, or tidy one room.
Hold the baby while you nap, shower, or take a short walk.
Come with you to a postpartum or pediatric appointment.
Listen without trying to solve everything.
Help you contact a healthcare provider or support group.
It’s also okay to set limits. You can ask visitors to call first, keep visits short, or focus on helping with practical tasks instead of expecting you to host.
Use the PSI Postpartum Plan
Planning for postpartum support can help you think through needs before you’re in the middle of an exhausting week. Postpartum Support International (PSI) offers a free Postpartum Plan. It includes prompts about rest, emotional wellbeing, practical help, visitors, physical recovery, and the people on your support team. PSI also offers a postpartum planning class for expectant parents. Postpartum Support International (PSI)
You can use the plan during pregnancy or after your baby arrives. It may help to fill it out with a partner, friend, therapist, or another trusted person.
PSI support groups and peer support
You don’t have to be in crisis or have a diagnosis to benefit from connecting with other parents. PSI offers free, virtual peer support groups for pregnancy and postpartum mental health challenges, including depression, anxiety, and OCD. Groups are facilitated by trained peer supporters and can be a place to talk with people who understand the transition. Browse current options and registration details on the PSI support groups page. Join a Free Group Today
PSI also has a Postpartum HelpLine for support and help finding resources. If you prefer to look for a therapist, PSI’s provider directory can help you search for perinatal mental health providers.
Finding support close to home
Local support can include parent groups, hospital-based postpartum groups, lactation services, home visiting, and community programs. Your OB/GYN or midwife, pediatrician, public health office, or insurance plan may know what is currently available in your area. You can also search for support groups through PSI’s local chapter directory.
Wyoming: Public health nurse home visits
Wyoming’s Hand in Hand Home Visitation Program offers no-cost visits with a specially trained public health nurse from pregnancy through a child’s second birthday. Visits may take place at home, at a local public health nursing office, or another agreed-upon location. Nurses can discuss pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum needs, mental health, and parenting, and connect families with local resources. Wyoming’s program information also describes breastfeeding and lactation support as part of public health home visiting services. Ask your local nurse what feeding support and infant checks are available in your community. Wyoming Department of Health
Arizona: Home visiting and parent support
In Arizona, Strong Families AZ can connect expecting parents and families with young children to free, voluntary home visiting programs. Depending on the program and family’s needs, home visitors can offer parenting support, stress-management tools, child development information, and referrals to other services. Use the site’s Find a Program Near Me option or call 602-345-0471 to ask what may be available in your area. Strong Families AZ
Arizona also has local and virtual support options. 4th Trimester Arizona’s AfterGlow Village offers a psychoeducational support group for mothers experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety. It is a peer and educational group, not therapy. The Arizona Perinatal Access Line resource directory lists additional groups, including Banner Health pregnancy and postpartum adjustment groups in Mesa and Gilbert, a virtual Banner group, and options in other parts of the state. Schedules can change, so contact the group before attending. 4th Trimester Arizona
A therapist can help you find a path forward
A therapist who specializes in maternal mental health and postpartum depression can help you make sense of what you’re experiencing, identify what kind of support would be useful, and take manageable steps toward feeling better. Therapy can also help with anxiety, birth trauma, relationship changes, intrusive thoughts, and the pressure to meet unrealistic expectations of parenthood.
You don’t need to have the right words or be certain what’s wrong before reaching out. You can simply say, “I’m having a hard time adjusting, and I’d like support.”
If you’re worried that you might harm yourself or someone else, or you feel unable to stay safe, call or text 988 in the U.S. for immediate crisis support. If there is an immediate emergency, call 911.