National Grief Awareness Day: Making Space for Loss and Healing
Written by: Virginia Kuhn LPC
National Grief Awareness Day, observed annually on August 30, offers an opportunity to recognize the many ways grief can affect our lives. It also reminds us that people who are grieving deserve patience, understanding, and support—not pressure to “move on” or heal according to someone else’s timeline.
Grief is a deeply personal response to loss. Although it is commonly associated with the death of a loved one, grief can arise from many experiences, including pregnancy loss, infant loss, infertility, divorce, changes in health, the loss of a relationship, relocation, job loss, caregiving transitions, or the loss of the life someone expected to experience.
No matter what caused it, grief is real—and it does not always look the way we expect.
Grief Can Affect the Mind and Body
Grief is not only an emotional experience. It can affect nearly every part of a person’s daily life. Someone who is grieving may experience:
Sadness, anger, guilt, relief, numbness, or disbelief
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
Changes in sleep or appetite
Fatigue or physical heaviness
Anxiety about the future
Irritability or emotional sensitivity
Withdrawal from others
A sense of disconnection from their identity or surroundings
Unexpected reminders or waves of emotion
These reactions may change from one day—or even one moment—to the next. A person might laugh, work, socialize, or experience joy while still carrying significant grief. Moments of happiness do not mean the loss has been forgotten, just as difficult days do not mean someone has stopped healing.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Pregnancy and infant loss can bring a uniquely painful and complex form of grief. This may include miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, termination for medical reasons, stillbirth, neonatal loss, or the death of an infant.
Parents and families may grieve not only the physical loss of a baby but also the future they had begun to imagine. They may grieve anticipated milestones, changes to their identity, the experience of pregnancy or parenthood, and the hopes they held for their family.
Pregnancy and infant loss may also involve physical recovery, hormonal changes, medical procedures, difficult decisions, or traumatic experiences surrounding diagnosis, labor, delivery, or emergency care. Because the emotional and physical experiences can occur at the same time, grief may feel especially intense or disorienting.
Some parents experience guilt, shame, anger, anxiety, numbness, or a sense of betrayal by their bodies. Others may find themselves repeatedly wondering whether they could have prevented the loss. These reactions can be distressing, but experiencing them does not mean the parent caused the loss or is grieving incorrectly.
Partners and other family members may also experience significant grief, even when their emotions look different. One person may want to talk about the baby frequently, while another may cope by focusing on work, responsibilities, or practical tasks. Differences in grieving styles do not necessarily mean that one person cared more or is more deeply affected.
When Pregnancy or Infant Loss Is Minimized
Pregnancy and infant loss are not always fully recognized by others. People may unintentionally minimize the experience with comments such as:
“At least it happened early.”
“You can try again.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“At least you know you can get pregnant.”
“You need to stay strong.”
“It was not meant to be.”
Although these statements may be intended to offer hope, they can leave grieving parents feeling dismissed, isolated, or pressured to recover. A future pregnancy or living child does not replace the baby who died, and gratitude for one child can exist alongside grief for another.
More supportive responses may include:
“I am so sorry for the loss of your baby.”
“Your baby mattered.”
“I am here to listen if you want to talk.”
“Would you like me to use your baby’s name?”
“You do not have to go through this alone.”
“There is no timeline for your grief.”
It can also be meaningful to remember important dates, acknowledge the baby’s due date or birthday, and continue checking in after the initial period of support has passed.
Pregnancy After Loss
A pregnancy following loss can bring hope and joy while also creating intense fear, uncertainty, or sadness. Some parents may have difficulty feeling connected to the pregnancy, while others may closely monitor physical sensations or seek frequent reassurance that the baby is safe.
Medical appointments, ultrasounds, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and approaching the gestational age of the previous loss can all become emotionally difficult. These reactions do not mean someone is ungrateful for the current pregnancy. Joy and grief can exist at the same time.
Support during pregnancy after loss may involve making space for uncertainty, processing traumatic memories, developing ways to manage anxiety, and acknowledging the baby who died without diminishing the current pregnancy.
Grief Does Not Follow a Predictable Timeline
Grief is often described as occurring in stages, but it rarely unfolds in a neat or linear order. People may experience different emotions repeatedly, skip certain reactions altogether, or notice that grief becomes more intense around anniversaries, holidays, due dates, birthdays, family milestones, or unexpected reminders.
There is no universally “correct” amount of time to grieve. Healing does not require someone to stop missing the person, relationship, role, baby, or future they lost. Instead, many people gradually learn how to carry the loss while continuing to engage with their lives.
The goal is not necessarily to return to who someone was before the loss. Grief can change a person’s priorities, relationships, beliefs, and sense of self. Healing may involve learning how to live meaningfully alongside those changes.
Not All Grief Is Recognized by Others
Some losses receive immediate support, while others may be minimized or overlooked. This is sometimes called disenfranchised grief—grief that is not openly acknowledged, socially supported, or treated as significant.
Examples may include:
Miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss
Infertility or unsuccessful fertility treatment
Termination of pregnancy, including termination for medical reasons
The death of an ex-partner or estranged family member
The loss of a pet
Ending a friendship
Losses related to adoption or foster care
The end of a career or important role
Grieving someone who is still alive but has changed because of illness, addiction, or estrangement
Losing a sense of safety, identity, health, or anticipated future
A loss does not need to be understood by everyone else to be meaningful. People deserve space to acknowledge and process their grief without having to defend its importance.
How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving
It can be difficult to know what to say to someone who has experienced a loss. You do not need to find the perfect words or make the pain disappear. Often, the most meaningful support comes from being present and willing to listen.
Helpful responses may include:
“I’m so sorry. I’m here with you.”
“There is no pressure to respond, but I’m thinking about you.”
“Would you like to talk about them?”
“What would feel most supportive today?”
“I can bring dinner, help with errands, or sit with you. You do not have to choose right now.”
Try to avoid statements that rush meaning-making or minimize the loss. Even when well-intended, these responses may leave someone feeling as though their pain is uncomfortable or unacceptable.
It can also be helpful to continue checking in after the initial period of support. Grief often remains long after other people have returned to their usual routines.
When Grief and Mental Health Overlap
Grief itself is not a mental health disorder. However, a significant loss can sometimes contribute to depression, anxiety, trauma-related symptoms, or prolonged grief. After pregnancy or infant loss, some parents may also experience intrusive memories, avoidance, intense fear surrounding future pregnancies, or distress connected to medical settings.
Additional support may be helpful when grief feels persistently overwhelming, significantly interferes with daily functioning, or is accompanied by intense hopelessness, isolation, substance use, or thoughts of self-harm.
Therapy cannot erase a loss, but it can provide a compassionate space to remember, express complicated emotions, process traumatic experiences, and explore how to move forward without minimizing what happened.
You Do Not Have to Grieve Alone
National Grief Awareness Day reminds us that grief deserves acknowledgment—not judgment, comparison, or a deadline. Whether your loss occurred recently or many years ago, your experience remains worthy of care and compassion.
At Bloom & Breathe Therapy, we provide warm, individualized support for people navigating grief, pregnancy and infant loss, trauma, depression, anxiety, pregnancy after loss, and other major life transitions. Our therapists offer in-person counseling at our offices in Mesa, Arizona, and Lander, Wyoming, as well as telehealth services where available.
If grief has become difficult to carry on your own, please reach out to learn more about how we can support you.